Warning: This article is full of swear words, some people can get offended, and I am COMPLETELY HONEST. That means I don't give a fuck if you don't like my opinions or not. I am also calling so much bullshit out, but that's normal for me. Read at your own discretion. 

But hey, maybe this will be motivational for someone. Who knows.

Also, this is the first in my 'not giving a fuck' series. I plan on writing these motivational posts about fashion and general lifestyle. Because people are giving too many fucks. 

People often describe me as 'that one who doesn't give a fuck'. Except for my friends. They know I give maybe too much fucks, given my anxiety friend over there in the corner, a round of applause for him!

Or at least, I gave too many fucks. In the last few months I've learned how to subtly simply not give a fuck. There are times when I change into a bag full of cats just coming down from caffeine high after being drowned in the good ol' lake Anxiety in the Land of Throwing up your last breakfast. But I am getting better!

Thanks to my 'I don't have any fucks left to give since it's Thorsday and I ran out of them like the last time I read Civil War' attitude. 

It started when I got serious about my clothing brand. Until that time I was so fucking scared of everyone judging me, my parents hating me and my colleagues back at the university laughing at me. But then i saw my creations on the catwalk and I knew that's it. But when I came back to lab I knew that working with microorganisms was it. I wanted both. And I said fuck it, I am gonna get both. And so I got onto this really difficult road of juggling two career paths, being a designer genius on one hand and a fluorescence expert on the other was not easy. Many times I didn't know if I chose wisely. And just as many times I said fuckit!!! and just went on. I am so damned happy to have such great friends (Temi, Yuzu, Mari, Mitsu, Iva - I am looking at you!!! ♥) who let me literary word-vomit in their presence and just dump all of my fears onto their living room floor. 

I wanted to create a lolita haute couture, so I started to do just that. It's my escape from the world, from all of my problems, nothing but me and tiny manual work. And people loving my creations? Even better! I am goddamn proud of my babies, I would even say that I am better than like 80% of people creating costumes in Czechia, so I thought to myself 'why the fuck should I not take this chance and just do whatever the fuck the talented me wants?'. And so I gave birth to an haute couture brand and decided that my creations would be for sale. 

Then, of course just to add myself more goddamn stomach ulcers, I had to go and get interested in photography. And so I just fly around taking photos of everyone and learn everything I can because hey, I think my ideas are good and with enough practice I will get somewhere freaking high~!

And so I became a full time seamstress, designer and photographer with my eyes set on Paris's runways and London's galleries.

On the other hand, my PhD. was a really important for me because of many reasons. I've always has issues with self-confidence, and I wanted my parents to have that perfect daughter and to just show my siblings that I am just as great as they are, to show the whole family, in fact, that I am the best and they can go and choke on their hate towards me. Also, I will be completely honest, the awe of others in the lolita community feels good. BUT! Most importantly I was always a science geek. Once upon a time I wanted to go and study astrophysics but then I thought, that's just like all theory and I am too lazy. And so I chose chemistry. Then I chose microorganisms. Then I chose fluorescnce. And here I am! I love it. The work is stressful, many times I wanted to quit, but then I always remember the love (somewhere deep inside buried under all that gay porn, I am sure it is there!) I have for science and somehow I just push through. And then I am sitting back in my room, with a steaming cup of coffee and chillstep on, working on the data and it somehow makes sense! I know perfectly well how Tony felt the first time he flew in one of his suits ♥ Here at postgraduate I have so many opportunities to play with fluorescence and bacteria and to just try out my own ideas, it's perfect. Frustrating, but perfect in the end.

And so I became a full fledged PhD. student with my eyes set on lab work in the future.

People tell me I can't. But I tell them that I motherfucking can and will.

That's my art of not giving a fuck. People's disapproval of my career choices and the difficulties of my chosen life are strewn around like seeds in motherfucking springtime. Sometimes I lie in my bed totally worn out because I did too many things, with my health almost non-existent because I just need to be busy all the fucking time, and think is this it? And I answer yeah, that's it for me! No regrets!

Basically, I have to concentrate on two times the things normal people have, with two jobs and everything, but it's fun. I am not overly sociable (hah, 'not overly' she says, more like an antisocial freak who hates almost everyone) and my mind is always buzzing with new ideas to sometimes even sleep properly (people tell me I  'need to sleep more'. But yeah, try to do that when your mind is a fucking circus on steroids with too many acts going on at once every hour of the day, and that circus doesn't have any damn nightime), and so having this not one but two safe spaces where I can be one or the other half of myself is great. Hard, but I chose it, so it's okay.

I know that my health is not the best. I have weak and not fully functioning heart, no gallbladder, bad lung condition and my blood is a work of what-the-fuck-how-can-you-be-aliveness for fuck's sake. And don't let me start on the issue of my mental health. I don't have anything quite resembling mental health in my life-bag. Maniodepression, anxiety disorder, suicidal tendencies, eating disorder, yeah, a great cocktail for success if I say so myself!

But I think that all of this is exactly what gave me the strength to go on. I knew that I could just drop off anytime and the life is so fucking short to not have a motherfucking party with every goddamn 'bad decision' I apparently made in my life. 

They told me I couldn't do it.

I told them to go and suck someone instead of wasting their life on giving bad advice.

I honed the art of fuckery and I slowly became comfortable when being different. I have many more important things to give a fuck about that my career choice. I decided. And I will fucking stick with that choice even if it kills me (sadly, that is a complete truth according to my doctors).

There are many people that act like dumbasses when giving fucks about things that don't deserve having a fuck given about. I hate that sort of people and so I said, Imma do my own thing.

The moral of this story is - if you want something, just get it! If you are willing to go to hell and back and than to hell again through the village of getting-your-ass-handed-back-to-you, you win! If you are willing to be hated for you choices by idiots with no lives, you are the real hero of your life. If you want something so bad and you know that's fucking it and you have the guts to go for it, then, my dear Frodo, you are the biggest goddamn motherfucker on this planet and you win the fucking lottery. 

FRUiTS magazine is dead, but FRUiTS lives on. At least, Aoki Shoichi said so (If you don't know who that is, he is the dude that gave birth to the cult, the photographer that should be worshipped by every fashionista). That guy still takes photographs, and besides, FRUiTS lives on in everyone who wears Harajuku fashion. Thanks to those pages full of amazingly dressed people, Harajuku fashion got around like a plague. History is documented on those pages! One day, that stuff will be in museums because once it was an incredible monthly occurrence of stylish. Now, you don't have that because everyone has instagram and so instead of once a month, people can have eye orgasms every minute.

Aoki Shoichi. Source here

You know, publishing a magazine, a monthly magazine at that, is not cheap. You have advertisements, staff, printing. It's not cheap. And people just don't buy physical copies anymore. 

Thus, let me ask you a question. When was the last time you bought a PRINTED magazine/book/fashion spread? Yeah, a majority of people doesn't buy that anymore, right? The truth is, we live in a digital world, everything you need is made up of zeros and ones, not lignin and cellulose. Someone wants to see the latest fairy kei fashion trends? They search tumblr. Someone else want to know what their favourite star said? They don't read a printed interview, they check their twitter. 

And that is not a bad thing, everything is easier to access, you want a tour of Harajuku? Well then have a damn virtual tour of Harajuku! The thing is, three magazines ceased their printed production, other just started, some went digital. That does not mean that Harajuku fashion magazines are over, they evolved into either digital form or morphed - I like to think of Melt as a love child of Kera and G&L Bible. Individually, those two magazines didn't have a large audience, but together? I have hope~

Kera mobile, issue 9. Have a look at it, it's just as awesome as were the printed issues!

Tourists. Tourists in Harajuku. Are. Horrible. Really! Every day, there are millions of people passing trough and ogling, taking pictures and generally making stylish kids feel like they are an exhibit in a ZOO. Often, tourists don't even ask permission from those whose pictures are being taken. You know, when five people in the span of one hour take a picture of you, one can live with that. But when it's every freaking minute, that's just pushing it! And so fashionistas don't want to mingle with their own kind in their natural habitat, because their natural habitat has fallen prey to armadas of tourists without an ounce of respect. If you want to take a picture of someone, just ask. ASK! There is only a small chance you will get rejected!

Also, not only that people who were there at the beginning or even some twenty years later, during the 2000s, are older, but there is one giant reason why Harajuku fashion is not that in-your-face-Japan as it used to be. It's simple. If you look at Japan's history and political turmoils of the late 20th century/beginning of the 21st century, you will see that Japan was in some deep shit, economically, culturally and mentally. And Japan's youth rebelled. It's easy as that, Harajuku fashion was primarily born out of the love of western fashion penetrating Japan and the rebellious natures of Japanese teens. And now, is there a reason for people to rebel? Well, there are plenty of reasons but if somebody dresses in full Harajuku style, nobody will look at them as if they ran out of mental asylum for time-travelers. The fashion just lost the impact it once had. (On side note, punk is not dead! Right? If you really think about it, punk and Harajuku fashion are SO similiar...)

Examples of modern Harajuku style. Not your ordinary clothing, but somehow familiar. Taken from Tokyfashion

Young people like fast fashion. You know, stuff like Forever21, Uniqlo (who remembers Shimotsuma Monogatari and Jusco? Yeah, fantasy has become reality) and H&M and such. It's cheap and convenient. On the other hand, before every visit of La Foret it is advised to sell at least three of your kidneys and four lungs. Designer clothes are expensive and Harajuku fashion can be a damn expensive life style (doesn't have to be if you are manually talented with a fashionable eye and can reconstruct and give new life to old pieces). Shops close down because there is not enough people to pay for their clothes, it's just life.
Also, the image of Harajuku fashion has highly been industrialized and made mainstream, at least to some extent. It's become quite conservative, and I think that sometimes people can't say if a person's dressed in Harajuku or they are just some kind of high-brand wearing stylish kid.
Also, talking about stores, you want to have a home-shop in Harajuku, you pay with dragon blood and fairy dust, it's that expensive. It's mostly because of the fashion's global fame. Indie brands and smaller shops have moved further away. Harajuku fashion is relocating.

You see this, you run. Understood? Source

There is a freakingly known and good fashion college nearby, and Harajuku attracts a lot of talented people still. Stylish people just won't fully disappear from Harajuku, that's like asking pope to leave Vatican. Try it, I heard it's quite impossible ;}

There are various new styles emerging. Let's just briefly touch upon them, I want to write in more detail later, they are interestig~

• Peco Club, or Peco fashion: Once upon a time, there was a girl called Peco who was so pretty and colourful and had a great style and dated a genderless boy star Ryucheru. People liked her style and started copying her and thus new style, looking very much like fairy kei had an affair with larme kei, was born.

Peco. Taken from her twitter

• With Peco the name Bubbles Harajuku is often said in the same breath. It is a shop in Harajuku that sells cute clothes for uber-trendy teen girls. (More about this shop in the upcoming Peco article, it's quite an interesting shop!)

Bubbles store. Source

• Genderless kei is big and shines and people are taking notice of it! I think that genderless will be very big! It's not only for boys who said 'fuck it' to masculine clothing and wear whatever the hell they want, if they like that sweater from women's sections, they will wear the hell out of that damn sweater! Girls are on that trendy train, too!

Ryucheru. Taken from his instagram

• Maybe we will have a new Harajuku queen. Kyary got onto some bumpy road with her flop of 2016's October fail (more like last three years completely boring music. I love her style and her image, but truthfully, her music now is boring. With the exception of 'Harajuku oyahoi'! That one is LIT! ♥) and also have you seen her 'Easta' MV? I can't help myself, I hate it. It's sad. And also there are rumours she will be changing her image and everyone is like 'wait, rewind, what?'. Well, monarchy comes and goes, Tudors could write until they lose their heads from all those changes. (my puns are getting worse and worse...) All in all, Nakata saddens me and I cry over Kyary, I love her so much and yet...

Harajuku Iyahoi. It's catchy and I love it and if you haven't seen it, go have some amazingness today~

Yamaguchi Sayoko, the vintage icon whom the Japanese love more than ever

Hey, you know, somebody panics and shouts about the death of Harajuku every few years. We have been there, heard that. The world was supposed to end in 2000, 2012 and even last year and we are still here. Fashion doesn't die, it just evolves, okay?

Important links:

Kera magazine here

Buy Melt here

Buy Eternita here
Interview witch Aoki Shoichi here (in Japanese)
Kyary Pamyu Pamyu MV Harajuku iyahoi here