So, what was the deal with that FASHION show at a COSPLAY event, you may ask. Now, my dear honeybee, please, let me explain.

Photo: Michal Svojanovsky

In the first installment of my 'explanatory post, because I want everyone to know about the amazing fashion we have here in CZ and SK so that everyone can be in awe, bow before the amazing seamstresses here', I'm gonna talk about the first inspiration, why this fashion show was even born, who helped and what went absolutely wrong (let's be real and let's learn from our mistakes, I bring your some pro-tips).

It all began last year in June witch a chance meeting between me, Temi and Anet. Temi, as you know, is the second (and better) half of Bara no Usagi. She is really into alta moda and haute couture, just like I am, so we had been dreaming for quite a long time of a fashion show that could be shown in the otaku community and wouldn't be too out of a place but still awesome and luxurious. Cue Anet, one of the organizers of Cosples, who is also a very good friend of ours, is a part of RG (just like Temi), and is an awesome person! Everybody needs an Anet in their life. really.

Our visions all began with these (All hail our  gods - Sweet Banana AKA Dolce&Gabbana♥):

So, back on track, after subtly (not so subtly tho, we need to be somehow an elephant in a porcelain cup because without it, no great thing would have been accomplished!) introducing our idea of a grande fashion show, Anet told us that hey, why don't we actually do a fashion show for Cosples?

This gif actually represents people during organizing a fashion show, mainly those around me that don't want to have anything to do with my workaholic slave-driver self

Now, please, let me stop here for a moment. The problem with organizing fashion shows is that one person can't do it all on their own, and the communication between the event's organizing team and the head of the fashion show must, at all times, be clear and perfect. In other words, if these two sides don't communicate clearly and on time, the stress levels are rising and the show itself is slowly packing its bags and reserving a ticket to launch itself into the sun. 

The problem with planning a fashion show for an event, for the first time? The communication is going to suck big time. Everybody knows what they want but nobody will tell you exactly what it is that they want. 

Mistakes were made, words were exchanged later that was ideal, at one moment I thought that the whole show was over even before it started, people were panicking, nobody knew what to do, but somehow, SOMEHOW, everything was resolved and we were finally officially part of Cosples!

That sentence really made me happy - you know, people knew there was gonna be a fashion show, it was official! ♥

To give advice to everyone planning such an elaborate show as a part of an already gradieuse event - talk to each other and make sure that both sides know exactly what the side wants, and communicate on time, ask and talk! Right now, I am in the middle of planning a lolita fashion show for AnimeFest  2018, and I think that the head of programme affairs is already sick of my questions. But if it means that everything will go smoothly in the upcoming months, I am willing to play the role of a stomach bug evolving into an ulcer! 

Trust me, there is nothing worse that answering 'I actually don't know...' to any of your models' or staff's questions.

This reminds me of the FS preparations - everything burns, nobody actually knows what's going on, but hey, it's okay, that's normal!

The big question was, should I actually make the entire dress collection for the show or should I play the role of an activist and invite some other brands? The second options is true at all times and nobody is surprised, righ. 

I knew that if I wanted the lolita community to be widely known and talked about in happy and awed terms, I had to invite the best of the best. And this is the reason why the fashion show was not 'haute couture' or 'lolita' only, but was 'couture & lolita'. 

Because I am a crazy person and usual fashion shows bore me to tears, I knew that show with a story is a must! Slowly and through trial and error I ended up with a basic outline - there is going to be a story teller, a girl that would be the audiences' persona, and three fractions, in each there would be a different style.

Then one day while sleepily dragging myself to faculty to teach new generations of scientists, I got the perfect idea - the theme would be 'Metamorphosis'! The girl would be partly a Dantian character, going through different parts of something, and she would be required to choose something, only for the audience to choose her ultimate fate! 

Even later, when looking at some dress' ideas, I knew that the difference in the styles means that I would have something light, something more gothic and dark in style, and then there are lolita brands. 

Then later, while listening to some Malice Mizer in combination with ALI Project and Rokugen Alice, I got the idea of a Hell, Heaven and Earth/Life fractions, and the girl is someone who died and her soul is traveling through dimensions so she can choose where she's gonna stay for all eternity. And also, I should add a guide. Just because stories usually have someone that knows what's going on, I told myself.

So, the main characters and fractions were decided, and then I hoped that nothing major would require changes.


Also, some more advice for planners of fashion shows - do yourself a favour, be the baddest witch around and hunt your models into attending a rehearsal some days before the fashion show, and then be even worse and threaten them into attending another rehearsal just hours before the show itself.
For everyone who doesn't know what it means to model in one of my fashion shows - a week before the event, there is a rehearsal that lasts for about four or so hours, where I try to help with the model's psychology and mental preparations, then there is an exercise part because nobody has ever walked right with their muscle mass being in a state of liquid poo, also the models have to know how to walk so we have a walking session (no, walking is not easy, trust me), and then in the last few hours we try to go through the story and where should everybody be at, what is the right time, how to get there, and what to do once they are at that spot.
It's more like a boot camp, my dear poor models. I think that that night, everybody slept like a baby!
Then, once the day of the event arrives, we go through the story and the show two times, with music and story telling and everything, and then we hope for the best.
So as you can see, being a model is not easy! This is why I choose my models very carefully, if I see that someone just uses this opportunity to 'wear a nice dress', they are out of the game. Either you are doing this for others, for the j-fashion community, to create something beautiful, be selfless and be able to be 'just a model', or you are not in the game. Strict, I know, but these shows are my babies and I want them to be for others, not just for us.

Photo: Michal Svojanovsky

In the next installment, I am gonna talk more about the main character and story teller designs and the first dimension the girl encountered - Hell.

Warning: This article is full of swear words, some people can get offended, and I am COMPLETELY HONEST. That means I don't give a fuck if you don't like my opinions or not. I am also calling so much bullshit out, but that's normal for me. Read at your own discretion. 

But hey, maybe this will be motivational for someone. Who knows.

Also, this is the first in my 'not giving a fuck' series. I plan on writing these motivational posts about fashion and general lifestyle. Because people are giving too many fucks. 

People often describe me as 'that one who doesn't give a fuck'. Except for my friends. They know I give maybe too much fucks, given my anxiety friend over there in the corner, a round of applause for him!

Or at least, I gave too many fucks. In the last few months I've learned how to subtly simply not give a fuck. There are times when I change into a bag full of cats just coming down from caffeine high after being drowned in the good ol' lake Anxiety in the Land of Throwing up your last breakfast. But I am getting better!

Thanks to my 'I don't have any fucks left to give since it's Thorsday and I ran out of them like the last time I read Civil War' attitude. 

It started when I got serious about my clothing brand. Until that time I was so fucking scared of everyone judging me, my parents hating me and my colleagues back at the university laughing at me. But then i saw my creations on the catwalk and I knew that's it. But when I came back to lab I knew that working with microorganisms was it. I wanted both. And I said fuck it, I am gonna get both. And so I got onto this really difficult road of juggling two career paths, being a designer genius on one hand and a fluorescence expert on the other was not easy. Many times I didn't know if I chose wisely. And just as many times I said fuckit!!! and just went on. I am so damned happy to have such great friends (Temi, Yuzu, Mari, Mitsu, Iva - I am looking at you!!! ♥) who let me literary word-vomit in their presence and just dump all of my fears onto their living room floor. 

I wanted to create a lolita haute couture, so I started to do just that. It's my escape from the world, from all of my problems, nothing but me and tiny manual work. And people loving my creations? Even better! I am goddamn proud of my babies, I would even say that I am better than like 80% of people creating costumes in Czechia, so I thought to myself 'why the fuck should I not take this chance and just do whatever the fuck the talented me wants?'. And so I gave birth to an haute couture brand and decided that my creations would be for sale. 

Then, of course just to add myself more goddamn stomach ulcers, I had to go and get interested in photography. And so I just fly around taking photos of everyone and learn everything I can because hey, I think my ideas are good and with enough practice I will get somewhere freaking high~!

And so I became a full time seamstress, designer and photographer with my eyes set on Paris's runways and London's galleries.

On the other hand, my PhD. was a really important for me because of many reasons. I've always has issues with self-confidence, and I wanted my parents to have that perfect daughter and to just show my siblings that I am just as great as they are, to show the whole family, in fact, that I am the best and they can go and choke on their hate towards me. Also, I will be completely honest, the awe of others in the lolita community feels good. BUT! Most importantly I was always a science geek. Once upon a time I wanted to go and study astrophysics but then I thought, that's just like all theory and I am too lazy. And so I chose chemistry. Then I chose microorganisms. Then I chose fluorescnce. And here I am! I love it. The work is stressful, many times I wanted to quit, but then I always remember the love (somewhere deep inside buried under all that gay porn, I am sure it is there!) I have for science and somehow I just push through. And then I am sitting back in my room, with a steaming cup of coffee and chillstep on, working on the data and it somehow makes sense! I know perfectly well how Tony felt the first time he flew in one of his suits ♥ Here at postgraduate I have so many opportunities to play with fluorescence and bacteria and to just try out my own ideas, it's perfect. Frustrating, but perfect in the end.

And so I became a full fledged PhD. student with my eyes set on lab work in the future.

People tell me I can't. But I tell them that I motherfucking can and will.

That's my art of not giving a fuck. People's disapproval of my career choices and the difficulties of my chosen life are strewn around like seeds in motherfucking springtime. Sometimes I lie in my bed totally worn out because I did too many things, with my health almost non-existent because I just need to be busy all the fucking time, and think is this it? And I answer yeah, that's it for me! No regrets!

Basically, I have to concentrate on two times the things normal people have, with two jobs and everything, but it's fun. I am not overly sociable (hah, 'not overly' she says, more like an antisocial freak who hates almost everyone) and my mind is always buzzing with new ideas to sometimes even sleep properly (people tell me I  'need to sleep more'. But yeah, try to do that when your mind is a fucking circus on steroids with too many acts going on at once every hour of the day, and that circus doesn't have any damn nightime), and so having this not one but two safe spaces where I can be one or the other half of myself is great. Hard, but I chose it, so it's okay.

I know that my health is not the best. I have weak and not fully functioning heart, no gallbladder, bad lung condition and my blood is a work of what-the-fuck-how-can-you-be-aliveness for fuck's sake. And don't let me start on the issue of my mental health. I don't have anything quite resembling mental health in my life-bag. Maniodepression, anxiety disorder, suicidal tendencies, eating disorder, yeah, a great cocktail for success if I say so myself!

But I think that all of this is exactly what gave me the strength to go on. I knew that I could just drop off anytime and the life is so fucking short to not have a motherfucking party with every goddamn 'bad decision' I apparently made in my life. 

They told me I couldn't do it.

I told them to go and suck someone instead of wasting their life on giving bad advice.

I honed the art of fuckery and I slowly became comfortable when being different. I have many more important things to give a fuck about that my career choice. I decided. And I will fucking stick with that choice even if it kills me (sadly, that is a complete truth according to my doctors).

There are many people that act like dumbasses when giving fucks about things that don't deserve having a fuck given about. I hate that sort of people and so I said, Imma do my own thing.

The moral of this story is - if you want something, just get it! If you are willing to go to hell and back and than to hell again through the village of getting-your-ass-handed-back-to-you, you win! If you are willing to be hated for you choices by idiots with no lives, you are the real hero of your life. If you want something so bad and you know that's fucking it and you have the guts to go for it, then, my dear Frodo, you are the biggest goddamn motherfucker on this planet and you win the fucking lottery. 

As once Tommy heavenly6 said: 

I am not your perfect you

I'm not your wish come true

I'm not your cupcake filling

I'm not your lollipop peeling

I'm not your fairy lullaby

I'm not your once upon a time

I'm not always so friendly

But I am not always your enemy

(But you can try me~)

Pic and edit: Kristyna Hodakova

I think these lyrics describe me quite well, actually. I am not claiming to be the best at what I do, or to be the perfect hime lolita people sometimes picture me as. I have many flaws (hello there, my moodiness! And also, give a shout-out to my picture perfect sarcasm, love you, bro!) and my creations have many flaws. But I think that I have a passion for what I do, and sometimes my ideas aren't half bad. Which is why I created this blog. 

Some of you know that one of my biggest dreams is to inspire other people, to help them come out of their shell and just be creative, fuck what other people think! I want to remind people that if Harujuku fashion, photography, illustrations, make-up, fashion and whatever else kind of artsy fills your being with happiness and is the reason you get up every morning, it's not just a 'hobby'. It's your purpose and you should be damn proud of yourself, because not everyone can lead such a powerfully creative life as you do! 

"To care about what other people think is to become boring" - Yoshiaki, genderless boy and a damn big inspiration

Yoshiaki and his sister. Here is his instagram and go follow him, you're welcome B>

In short, the reason why I am giving the world a chance to either love or hate my work (and trust me when I say I am quite self-conscious about my creations...) is YOU. If you, by any chance, become inspired by what I do, then my purpose has been fulfilled. I mean, something like 'too much alternative fashion' doesn't exist. Period. Who doesn't like your style, hit them with the newest issue of Melt. Seriously, you don't need this kind of negativity in your life, especially not when it comes from someone whose biggest adventure was yesterday's toilet seance after eating too many plums. Their ties and pencil skirts can't measure up to your pumps or frilled JSKs with life-sized boats. 

(Oh god, I feel like a giant jerk right now, well, doesn't matter, let's just agree that their world and your world are different and they have no right to say how you should dress. Are you killing someone? No, so they can just waddle off. But if you are, by any chance killing someone, I think we need to have a word...)

Also, the second reason is (yay for staying on topic for longer periods of time!) our Czech lolita community. They are the best! Yes, of course, some people are not the best, but my friends are the best! I get often asked about my makeup or my sewing, and I see this blog as a perfect opportunity just to have all my tutorials and reviews in one place, so they can learn what they need. They are my babies and I need to be a helpful mama ♥

The next reason is shameless self-propagation, because of my brand! Oh yes, I think this is a very important fact to state, I have an indie brand! Lolita, haute couture, Harajuku fashion, I mix and match styles and give them my own twist and I love it. For those interested and those who haven't seen the huge banner on the right sidebar, here is the link~ L'Hortenia de la forêt ♥

Well, my ramblings are all over the place, so let's just add some facts, shall we?
I am a PhD student at Brno University of Technology, faculty of chemistry, Biotechnology is my home~! (My gosh, I have a degree and I still feel like a five year old with an attitude problem, go me!)
I've been into lolita and Japanese fashion for about 16 years now, I guess? I am planning on writing a detailed journey of mine through my ita and WTFFF??? stages in my early teens, so stay tuned and you will be spectators at my public humiliation!

I am mostly inspired by music, so yeah, you will see a LOT of music references and 'you have to listen to this!'s.

I've been sewing for about ten years or so, I guess, so if you want to ask something, I think my advice will be good. At least in some cases, let's be real!

I love doing fashion shows, be it as a model or as the head boss, so fashion shows and how to act before/during/after them is going to be a topic of some of my articles.
Sometimes I cosplay. Yes, that's right, hide your wives and your children's innocence, I cosplay!

I recently got into photography, I am NOT an expert so maybe your eyes will bleed and you will get a migraine because of some of the shots, but hey, it can get only better, right? *silently cries in pixels*

One of my dreams is to draw my very own manga and become a respected lolita illustrator, so not only that your eyes will want to kill themselves because of my amateurish photos, say hello to my doodles!

If there is anything you want to know, just send me and email, or contact me through facebook or any other platform, I don't bite if people don't attack ♪♫♪

Next articles:
My lolita journey or Oh God why, how, just burn it!
Shironuri makeup - the basics tutorial